I’m not sure about when I’m coming back. Or if I ever will.

Just keep your eyes on this blog and don’t ever turn away from it. A pretty tall order, huh. However, if I update, I suppose it would be worth it.  So there. I know you can do it. I bet you will!

If I ever get to post again, I promise I’ll try to come up with things that’ll make sense to you, even though most of the time my posts don’t mean a thing. They hardly ever do. Save for in my new blog, I guess. Over there I am starting a new life in the blogosphere.

Where on Earth is that new blog I’ve been speaking of?

At last I think I’m ready to tell you, after going undercover with it for so long. Already I have mustered up the courage in order to face many people storming into my blog and reading the things I’ve been putting in it, which are more personal than the ones in here, a blog that is technically stagnant since it hardly ever receives updates at all (thanks to me).

Take me away to your world, dude!

There you go.

Oh, and I never knew blogging through my phone was this enjoyable. (Heck, I just realized that.) And so conducive, dude! I just love typing away at the keys and letting the ideas flow out onto my screen.

Too bad I had to type it again.

So I guess this blog has a chance at being revived after all.

Well, that depends on how I’ll be feeling in the next few days. You want something, go and pray for it. Because wishes definitely do come true, so long as you do something about ‘em. That’s what it says in The Secret. I’ve watched the film. It was good. I have yet to test if it really is true, or if the Secret is truly applicable to everybody (or at least to me) as it claims to be, but so far I just wish it does work. You wnna know more, you click on the link I’ve given you above. Or for a faster, easier entry, visit www.customanarchy.tk or www.ruletheworld.tk ot even www.czarcast.tk (yes, that’s very czarcasttk–sarcastic, if you get what I mean) and you’ll get there all the same.

It’s all the same
Such a shame.

~Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends (Fall Out Boy — fave band evah! )

Whaaat? Or not.

“We do it in the dark
With smiles on our faces
We’re dropped and well concealed
In secret places.
We don’t fight fair.”

~The Take Over, The Break’s Over (Fall Out Boy)

Indeed. The happiest song in the entire world. Bow.

Happy figuring out your life and living it the way you like it, which is what I currently do (or what I’m trying to do! )

*Waves gladly*

Hah. Too bad I don’t have a smiley to show that. Yeah. Just so you know, several of my notorious smiley images will show up in my next blog, which serves as yet another reason why you should visit it. Nah. Kidding as usual.

I don’t want to be emo (at least not as much as I used to be, that I almost turned antisocial), but something’s really eating away at my heart.

Must. Get. Over. It. Soon. No, I mean as soon as possible. Right now.

If I think happy thoughts, will this feeling go away?

It should. I mean, it will, right?

Damn it (and please excuse my language, if you wouldn’t mind at all), I’m supposed to be a cheerful emo. And emo only because I like the style, and because I’m a great fan of the emo bands, show my support for the movement by listening to its trademark music, and all that. I think of the emo as a human being who deserves not to be stereotyped; therefore one can be emo without embracing all of the so-called “emo” ideals. For me, the true emo is any person who feels much, has genuine emotion, and empathizes with other people the same way that he would empathize for himself. The only reason why he appears to be antisocial is because he is in harmony with his inner self, for he often tunes into his soul to seek the answers to his questions that have been left unsolved. The emo is naturally curious. However, he is not accustomed to showing it, so he asks himself instead. For this reason, he appears detached to the outside world. Yet we must know that this is only the illusion of the emo that we are seeing. The emo inside is deep, deeper than the wounds he has inflicted unto himself, whether physically or emotionally (seldom intellectually). Deep inside, he is an ocean of thought and opinion. Inside, he carries out more than metabolism, or the rational thinking most of us aim to develop, but does a form of reflection that he is able to perform much faster than anyone can. It is an ability, not an impairment. We must respect him for what he can do rather than discourage him from doing it. The emo is a human being; and we should treat him as one.

I don’t know how others view it, though the music industry obviously interprets it in another way. The popular way. The manner which is known to many. I don’t blame the Dashboard Confessionals for that, neither do I cast the blame on them. By sharing my thoughts on the emo as an individual, I don’t wish to assert that they are wrong. People differ in the way they see things; and it just so happens that I differ here. After all, as a representative specimen of one type of emo (I don’t know how others would “classify” me, though that’s simply the way I would define myself) I should know what’s going on inside me. And the way I see it, being emo isn’t really ALL about sadness, and the dark world where emos allegedly dwell exists only in stories. Emos aren’t blind. They just want you to see them, even though they say they don’t. They just don’t want to be noticed too much. Like you, and every one of us on this planet, they fear some things and it just so happens that they are afraid. Don’t add up to their fear. Don’t fear the emo!

And if you want to know a secret, a big, fat juicy secret (a very meaningful one), well, I believe it’s time I told you one. Being emo isn’t just about misery. Why, being emo is actually quite fun! You don’t have to work so hard to be emo; you don’t have to worry about what songs to listen to, or how to dress. Just be yourself. You don’t have to worry how to tell the world that you’re emo; the world will know. And it’s not the number of scars that truly count. It’s not how you got them, either, or what you stand for. It’s how you stood up to face every challenge to prevent yourself from getting scarred. It’s how you survived painful circumstances and kept yourself from being hurt. And that’s what it means to be emo–one of the successful sort. You are an expert with your emotions; that’s why you know how to work with them. You are emo, just a cut above your fellow emo friends. And before you know it, you’ll have attained happiness by living a life worth living, exactly the way you wanted it to be lived.

As for me, I don’t feel disheartened anymore. By writing this, I realized that there actually is hope, waiting for me round the bend. All I have to do is go out and greet it. Renouncing my emo personality wouldn’t do me any good, either; for that is who I am, who I became, who I may have wanted to be, subconsciously, sometime in the past. After all, hope favors everyone, given that we welcome it. Today, I welcome it into my life once more, hoping not for total annihilation of the sadness that seemed to have tainted it, but for a future that is strikingly bright yet agreeable with my own eyes. Doesn’t matter if it’s black. What matters is that it stands out.

WordPress is still the most stable blogging host, after all. But I hope, just hope, it ould give users the option to advanced-customize their blog. For FREE. *coughs* Matt, I know you’re out there listening.

So anyway. I’m actually supposed to be studying but I’m here writing a blog post. AGAIN. Which doesn’t sound very unusual at all, especially for me. I do it all the time. Soon, I knoww I will get caught. But what’s the big deal? I want to write. I’m currently dying to write. So there.

I just hope nobody out there would help me get caught.;);)

And because you guys are good to me, I assume you won’t. I give to you my trust, and you must swear to take care of it. Don’t you dare go behind my back just to break it. There’s no sense pretending it’s there when it’s not; when it’s broken, I’ll know. Whatever happens next, I don’t know. You don’t really want to know either. In short, DON’T YOU DARE SAY A THING.

Is all, my friends.

Still need to go back and finish Chem.

Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. After Pisay got burned down and everything. Thank Go d only the second floor was destroyed. Even then, the faculty center still lies in ruins, and the entire place is a total mess. Broken windows, charred wood, everything. The list is almost countless. You all know the story. And since too much public exposure is as bad as a mere information release is good, I suppose I needn’t explain more.

So here I am, stuck at home, hoping to crush out more stuff from my to-do list before it gets any longer than I am tall (or, rather, short—since I’m not that tall after all, though not small either).

Was supposed to be studying for Bio, but Friendster, Multiply, and even WordPress were all so disturbing, so this is all I’ve accomplished.

I promise to do better tomorrow, even though I know that tomorrow I should be studying for some other subject, such as Chem.

Here’s a compilation of scientist profiles I’ve compiled over the span of, say, less than an hour. I know they’re not much, but I’m guessing it’s enough to make me answer the test questions concerning them correctly.

So starting from Cellular Biology, we have:

ROBERT BROWN

Profession: Botanist

Nationality: Scottish

Accomplishment: Brownian motion

Noted that cells of plant epidermis, pollen grains and stigmas contain certain round structures called nuclei.

JOHANNES PURKINJE

Profession: Anatomist, Physiologist

Nationality: Czech

Accomplishments: First to use a microtome in slicing tissue, also the first to use a compound microscope

Coined the term protoplasm to describe the contents of a cell (also the scientific term plasma), described the movement of cilia, discovered Purkinje cells (nerve cells) and Purkinje fibers (muscle fibers)

Did you know that: Johannes Purkinje introduced the use of fingerprints for purposes of identification?

MATTHIAS SCHLEIDEN

Profession: Botanist

Nationality: German

“The cell is the basic unit of plants; each cell leads a double life: one independent and one as a multicellular organism”

THEODOR SCHWANN

Profession: Zoologist

Nationality: German

“Cells are organisms and entire plants and animals are aggregates of these organisms arranged according to definite laws.”

RUDOLF VIRCHOW

Profession: Doctor

Nationality: German

Accomplishments: Authored “Cellular Pathology”

“Living things are composed of cells and their products.”

Did you know that: Rudolf Virchow was a colleague and contemporary of Jose Rizal?

LOUIS PASTEUR

Profession: Chemist, Microbiologist
Nationality: French

Accomplishments: Disproved spontaneous generation, established germ theory, invented pasteurization, made vaccines against life-threatening diseases such as anthrax and rabies

Motto: “Everything in this world depends on work”

Meanwhile, for Viral History:

ADOLF MAYER
Profession: Agricultural chemist

Nationality: German

Accomplishments: Credited as the first person to transmit tobacco mosaic virus by using the juice extracts from the diseased plant as the inoculum to infect other plants, aiming to know the cause of TMV Disease (Tobacco Mosaic Virus Disease)

DMITRI IVANOVSKY

Profession: Biologist

Nationality: Russian

Accomplishments: First to discover viruses, namely the much sought-after TMV (Tobacco Mosaic Virus); however, he failed to report his findings.

MARTINUS BEIJERINCK

Profession: Microbiologist, Botanist

Nationality: Dutch

Accomplishments: Credited discoverer of the Tobacco Mosaic Virus, proved that the disease was caused by something smaller than a bacterium which he then named virus. He believed that viruses were liquid in nature.

Known as: “The Founder of Virology”

WENDELL STANLEY

Profession: Biochemist, Virologist

Nationality: American

Accomplishments: Crystallized TMV and viewed it through an electron microscope; received the 1946 Nobel Prize in Chemistry

They’re all I need in order to pass this quarter’s peryo. Probably tomorrow I’ll be posting some pictures, so if you’re the type of person who likes color on blog posts, that’s something you might want to watch out for.

I’ve been trying to look up Camin, Sneath and Sokal (the people who invented phenetics) too; strangely enough Wikipedia doesn’t have any articles about them, and their life stories haven’t been posted on the Internet either. Weird, indeed, that pioneers of a scientific body of knowledge have no pictures posted online while some of my classmates even have an entire page dedicated to themselves.

Fortunately my head doesn’t hurt anymore—at least not as much as it did when I was scrolling through my Friendster profile for the umpteenth time at past 9:00 in the evening. My background, could it be? Or probably it’s that primary picture of mine that burns my eyes? Well, whatever it is, I don’t really care. What matters is that I’m here and I’ve finally been able to concentrate. Even though it took me eight hours to be able to do so.

And now the return of my terrible headache. Say, it’s 1:29 AM! Best get my head on a pillow and sneak in some rest.

Peace out, dear friends.

Damn. I really should start coding my Blogger blog. But periodic exams are nearing, and if I don’t study soon I’m sure to fail.

Can’t get more negative than that.

Moving on.

I had a sucky week and everyone knows that. I messed up on my schoolwork and now I have a strange feeling I did not get a single point in any of the long tests I’ve just taken. Which is unlikely to happen, as teachers often give a point for effort, but then again, that point isn’t worth a thing if you think of it. Besides, an effort point for every number in a long test where solving everything correctly is the only way to score well won’t make you pass. So now you see all my efforts to get Chem completely figured out (and I haven’t) going down, down the drain. And now I have to do Filipino homework. Cursed take-home LT! (Peace, Ma’am R.) *shrugs*

If I finish this early, who knows? I might make a header for my blog later. But maybe after I do Physics. Damn thirty numbers of projectile and Laws of Motion problems to do on your notebook and to be submitted the day after! Or maybe on Tuesday. I don’t know. I’m thankful for it, though. At least I’ll get to learn. I’ll be forced to learn. And that’d be good.

So what happens if I get good grades in all of my subjects? And make it to the director’s list? Besides being able to redeem myself, what?

As far as I know, it’d be the best day in my entire life. With nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing. And life would be good to me, even for just one day (that card-giving day, to be specific).

And I’m getting there.

Cramming sucks. Totally. It may be the tiniest bit fun, but only after you’ve finished doing so. Not while you’re doing it. And only if you do so successfully.

And yet here I am. Doing something I really love. Cramming.

Sure, I love cramming. There’s no doubt about that. As a matter of fact, I take pride in being quite a good crammer seeing as I (almost) always manage to get stuff done on time and make it look as if I’d spent hours doing them. However, this project is crucial; one point lost and I myself will disappear. Submitting it tomorrow will cause me to get a B. Terrible, really. You see, people, that’s what you get for getting yourself stuck in a situation you don’t really want to be in, and wouldn’t actually have been in, had you only been better at convincing yourself to squeeze that nonexistent thought right out of your mind at a moment when it was most appropriate.

Right here are the questions I’m supposed to answer for the essays–which I have answered; too bad I lost my good one in the labyrinth of the rotten computer system we have at school, and now I have to cram another one (again).

SS2 ’08-09 MAJOR ESSAY #1

1. Did you notice events or achievements that crossed over different aspects of civilization?

2. Did you notice events or achievements that crossed over different civilizations?

3. Based on your observations of the timeline, did the three civilizations develop at the same time? Did they develop at similar “speeds”? Or are they vastly different in terms of how they developed?

4. Identify a common era in the timeline when all three civilizations were at their height. How did they relate to each other during that time?

Good luck, myself.

This one’s a good, however, seeing as I can somehow relate to it, being a city-dwelling girl from a southern province in my country. Having lived here for eight years already, I understand how difficult it is to make such a transition and living in a place much different from your own, and I know that sometimes, it could be hard on those involved. It is just so disappointing that many people do not consider the purpose and meaning of their trips when they choose to move somewhere else, and only flock to the big city because are enchanted by the supposed “loveliness” of its broad skyline and huge highways, and are lured to it by the numerous temptations that reside there. Only after they are seized and stricken by hunger do they realize what really matters, and in this case, it’s not the skyline or the highways. In fact, one need not go so far in order to see this, for as long as he ends up seeing himself, and the importance of keeping well one’s existence.

Bangis ng Maynila
Reaksyon sa kuwentong “Mabangis na Lungsod” ni Efren Abueg.

Mala-paraiso ang Maynila sa mata ng inosenteng taga-probinsya. Sa bawa’t beses, sa bawat minuto kung isipin nila ito, isang siyudad kung saan mga matataas na gusali ang tila mga hari at reyna ang madalas nilang makita. Dito, ang buhay ay sagana at walang iniidang problema; mabilis ang paglaki ng kita sapagka’t tila binubuhos lamang sa mga nakabukas na palad ang pera. Marahil ito ang dahilan kung bakit marami ang nangangarap marating ang malaking siyudad. Ayon daw kasi sa mga kuwento ng mga kababayan nilang nagkaroon na ng pagkakataong marating ang ibang dako ng bansa, maganda ang Maynila at malaki ang pinagkaiba nito sa probinsya. Hanggang sa paglapag sa paliparan ng ay punong-puno pa rin sila ng pag-asa na ang pangitaing iyon ang kanilang makikita. At sa wakas, magkakatotoo nga ang hangarin nila.

Ngunit hindi ito magtatagal, sapagka’t ang tila panaginip lamang na eksena ay unti-unting mapapalitan ng mga larawan ng paghihirap at sakripisyo nang sa kauna-unahang beses ay makaramdam sila ng pagkalam ng sikmura. May pera man sila, hindi naman ito sapat para sa pang-araw-araw na gastusin nila. Saka nila matututunan na dito sa Maynila, kinaikailangang magkaroon ng trabaho upang mabuhay ang pamilya. Subali’t rin naman madali ang pagkuha ng trabaho, sapagka’t dito sa Maynila pala, ang istilo ay, “Wala ka pang trabaho, pinagtatrabahuan mo na.” Hindi maaaring magsaka dahil nga sa wala na ngang lupa. Dito sa Maynila, ang lupa ay isang bagay na napakahalaga kung kaya’t madalas itong pag-awayan. Mahal din ito kung kaya’t hindi madali ang makabili ng sariling lupa at makapagtatag ng isang bahay na matatawag mong iyo. Dahil dito, marami sa mga taong lumuwas papunta dito sa Maynila ang nauuwi na sa mga “squatters area.” Ang masaklap pa, sakali mang maghirap ka ay hindi ka rin maisasalba ng mga alaga mong hayop sapagka’t wala rin namang bibili nito maliban na lang kung ito’y nakakatay na.

Subali’t ito ang katotohanan. Nakalulungkot talagang isipin na ganito na ang pamumuhay sa Maynila, malayong-malayo na sa ipinagmamalaking ganda nito noon. Oo, maganda ang Maynila noon; sa katunayan, ito nga ang pinakamagandang siyudad sa Asya sa loob ng mahabang panahon. Kung ating tatanungin sina lolo at lola, masasabi nila na bagama’t ito’y maingay ay madali lamang ang buhay noon kung kaya’t masaya lalo na tuwing nagkakaroon ng mga kapistahan o selebrasyon, na sa ngayon ay hindi na halos ginagawa. Hindi na kinakailangang magpagod pa nang husto makahanap lang ng trabaho sapagka’t simple lang ang buhay noon.

Mabuti pa siguro noong panahon ng ating mga lolo’t lola; hindi pa gaanong kumplikado ang buhay kung kaya’t ang mga taga-Maynila ay hindi nahihirapan. Dahil sa kaunti lamang ang mga tao ay wala gaanong kumpetisyon lalung-lalo na sa trabaho, at higit sa lahat, mura ang mga bilihin. Ngunit sa panahon ngayon ay halos wala na yatang pag-asang umunlad ang buhay ng mga taong nanggaling pa sa malayong lugar at lumuwas patungong Maynila. Gustuhin man nilang makauwi sa kani-kanilang mga probinsya ay hindi ito maaari sapagka’t wala na silang perang pamasahe. Napipilitan tuloy silang mamalagi na lamang dito, at pagtrabahuin pa ang mga anak maging sapat lang ang pera para sa kanilang pamilya, tulad ng nangyari sa isa sa mga bidang tampok sa palabas na pinanood namin noon Humanities Week: si Pepe. Ang kuwento niya’y katulad din ng kuwento ng mga ibang batang sabik na sabik marating ang Maynila at doon na rin makapagtapos ng pag-aaral; subali’t wala sa kanyang mga pangarap ang mismong nagkaroon ng katuparan. Umuwi siya sa bayan niya, lungkot na lungkot sa pagpanaw ng kanyang ama, at patuloy pa ring naghahanap ng mapapasukang trabaho. Mabuti na lamang at mayroon siyang isang mabait na kaibigan, na kanya ring tuturuan ng isang magandang leksyon–na hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto–gaya na lamang ng Maynila.

Mala-paraiso ang Maynila sa mata ng inosenteng taga-probinsya. Ngunit hindi ito ganoon para sa akin. Walong taon na rin ang aking naigugol dito sa Maynila, at nakapagmasid-masgaanong na rin ako sa mga pangyayari dito. Malaki ang pinagbago ng buhay ko ngayon sa buhay ko noong ako’y bata pa lamang at hindi pa nag-aaral kaysa ngayong nasa Maynila na ako. Mahirap nga, ngunit kailangan. Titiisin ko ang bangis ng lungsod na ito matapos ko man lang ang pag-aaral ko dito. At higit sa lahat, pagtitibayin ko pa ang aking loob. Balang araw, alam kong makababawi rin ako.

Tags: manila, filipino, filipino homewok, homework, activities, school, pisay

For some reason I’ve developed this passion for stating the time
whenever I would make a new post, most especially if I do so at a time
when you’d least expect it. It’s 1:47 AM here right now, and I still
have to think of a way to begin (not complete, but begin!) my two articles for Science Scholar which are supposedly due today (or rather, yesterday). Thinking, thinking, thinking. :-/

So what’s up right now? Nothing really. I have no articles, discussions, or junk whatsoever to post. It’s just very late at night but I’m staying up because I want to research for my articles, despite the truth (the bitter truth) that chances of finishing (even starting!) them are vague. And to think that they were assigned to us two weeks ago–basically before Humanities Week began. Now, Humanities Week is over, and what other reasons do I have for not being able to finish it? “I was busy.” Sure, just like everyone else. How silly of me to say that when in fact there were some people busier than I was; in fact, on some days, I just loafed around. Somehow, Humanities Week was boring. Even the talent show wasn’t so great. Believe it or not, I’m actually supposed to be writing about it. How am I to do this? I came to school after lunch, just in time for the show, and you could actually say I was rooted to my seat for the entire time. I didn’t cheer; I hardly even got up from my seat. Only this batchmate and friend of mine (who’s been my schoolmate since elementary school and a friend for five years), Sierra, went up to take videos of the performers with my camera phone. During the performances of the more boring bands I just sat there, not even taking my eyes off the book I was reading. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Many kids are addicted to it, and in fact it’s being made into a movie, though it’s my first time to actually become interested.

The better bands perked up my attention, though, and so did the teacher performances, that I was able to keep my head up and the book a good distance from me while they were presenting. It was actually these people who inspired me to carry on with my list of all the performers for that afternoon which, hopefully, will be able to make up for my lack of interest in the others whose performances were so dull it looked as if they were singing their audience to sleep, if not for the din they created with all that screaming and intolerable instrument-wailing.

Should any of you guys read this, either by accident or in the event that you wanted to be my friend, but are now having second thoughts on whether you should pursue this goal, considering all the things I’ve written, let me just remind you that I’m not singling out anyone, and if I’m writing about bad things here, that’s because it’s the way I saw them though I have no intentions of hurting anyone. Should you find yourself hurt after reading this for seemingly no reason at all, take this blog entry as a compliment rather than as an insult to you as a person, just a little something to always remind you that there’s always room for improvement. I’m not perfect either, and that’s why I’m telling you this. We are human beings, only human beings. We aren’t expected to be perfect; same goes with other living things. There are times when we go wrong, so wrong, that seemingly there is not a single chance to straighten things up again. Yet they do straighten up; it only takes a bit of time, plus a little effort from those to whom disaster has occurred.

With this I end my post–I know it’s been cut short; unfortunately, I must hit the sack right now, for classes begin early tomorrow. Flag Ceremony… arrgh. I shall rejoice if I’m not late. No. Why should I be late? I’ll be getting there on time, for sure. Think positive, it is said, if there is a goal that you wish to achieve, or something you want to have for yourself. And that has already been proven. Welcome happiness, and it shall come to you. Welcome grief, prepare a room for it… and you know what happens next. Wrist-cutting, self-induced bleeding… not that it’s bad to be emo. In fact, I admit, I’m the tiniest bit emo myself. However, it would certainly help to start loving yourself the way you wish to be loved, be happy, as happy as you want to be, and start welcoming everything you want into your life… and life will be the way you want it.

Tags: AlliahCzarielle Guerra, pisay, activities, humanities week, Science Scholar, school, words of wisdom