Emotional Devastation

This is so sad.

I don’t want to be emo (at least not as much as I used to be, that I almost turned antisocial), but something’s really eating away at my heart.

Must. Get. Over. It. Soon. No, I mean as soon as possible. Right now.

If I think happy thoughts, will this feeling go away?

It should. I mean, it will, right?

Damn it (and please excuse my language, if you wouldn’t mind at all), I’m supposed to be a cheerful emo. And emo only because I like the style, and because I’m a great fan of the emo bands, show my support for the movement by listening to its trademark music, and all that. I think of the emo as a human being who deserves not to be stereotyped; therefore one can be emo without embracing all of the so-called “emo” ideals. For me, the true emo is any person who feels much, has genuine emotion, and empathizes with other people the same way that he would empathize for himself. The only reason why he appears to be antisocial is because he is in harmony with his inner self, for he often tunes into his soul to seek the answers to his questions that have been left unsolved. The emo is naturally curious. However, he is not accustomed to showing it, so he asks himself instead. For this reason, he appears detached to the outside world. Yet we must know that this is only the illusion of the emo that we are seeing. The emo inside is deep, deeper than the wounds he has inflicted unto himself, whether physically or emotionally (seldom intellectually). Deep inside, he is an ocean of thought and opinion. Inside, he carries out more than metabolism, or the rational thinking most of us aim to develop, but does a form of reflection that he is able to perform much faster than anyone can. It is an ability, not an impairment. We must respect him for what he can do rather than discourage him from doing it. The emo is a human being; and we should treat him as one.

I don’t know how others view it, though the music industry obviously interprets it in another way. The popular way. The manner which is known to many. I don’t blame the Dashboard Confessionals for that, neither do I cast the blame on them. By sharing my thoughts on the emo as an individual, I don’t wish to assert that they are wrong. People differ in the way they see things; and it just so happens that I differ here. After all, as a representative specimen of one type of emo (I don’t know how others would “classify” me, though that’s simply the way I would define myself) I should know what’s going on inside me. And the way I see it, being emo isn’t really ALL about sadness, and the dark world where emos allegedly dwell exists only in stories. Emos aren’t blind. They just want you to see them, even though they say they don’t. They just don’t want to be noticed too much. Like you, and every one of us on this planet, they fear some things and it just so happens that they are afraid. Don’t add up to their fear. Don’t fear the emo!

And if you want to know a secret, a big, fat juicy secret (a very meaningful one), well, I believe it’s time I told you one. Being emo isn’t just about misery. Why, being emo is actually quite fun! You don’t have to work so hard to be emo; you don’t have to worry about what songs to listen to, or how to dress. Just be yourself. You don’t have to worry how to tell the world that you’re emo; the world will know. And it’s not the number of scars that truly count. It’s not how you got them, either, or what you stand for. It’s how you stood up to face every challenge to prevent yourself from getting scarred. It’s how you survived painful circumstances and kept yourself from being hurt. And that’s what it means to be emo–one of the successful sort. You are an expert with your emotions; that’s why you know how to work with them. You are emo, just a cut above your fellow emo friends. And before you know it, you’ll have attained happiness by living a life worth living, exactly the way you wanted it to be lived.

As for me, I don’t feel disheartened anymore. By writing this, I realized that there actually is hope, waiting for me round the bend. All I have to do is go out and greet it. Renouncing my emo personality wouldn’t do me any good, either; for that is who I am, who I became, who I may have wanted to be, subconsciously, sometime in the past. After all, hope favors everyone, given that we welcome it. Today, I welcome it into my life once more, hoping not for total annihilation of the sadness that seemed to have tainted it, but for a future that is strikingly bright yet agreeable with my own eyes. Doesn’t matter if it’s black. What matters is that it stands out.

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